Today I took the Myers–Briggs Type Indicator personality test and got a strange result. I ended as an INTP-T, but with a 1% border between being an INTP and INTJ. Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Prospecting/Judging.
But what does this mean?
I looked into it more and INTP is a Logician, which makes sense given my love for finding patterns, attention to small details, and roleplay. While INFP was an architect, which I’ll look into tomorrow.
Efficacy
Of course results of the test don’t 100% describe me, but some paragraphs really hit home… a bit too hard.
“From the outside, Logicians may seem to live in a never-ending daydream. They have a reputation for being pensive, detached, and a bit reserved.” I tend to daydream a lot. During my childhood I would stare blankly into space, and get yelled at by people for staring. I wasn’t the silent kid, but I had 1 or 2 friends to chat with and spent more time playing single player games or making stories. I wrote a short (30pg) novel back in 4th grade, but that’s for another time.
Logician Strengths
“For Logicians, the best conversations are like brainstorming sessions, with plenty of room for unconventional thoughts and off-the-wall what-ifs.” Once again, although I don’t know if I should include this, since what use a coder who doesn’t like to code. I feel more motivated and fun to invent a solution than code the actual solution. I’ve had a blast mentoring interns and showing them page designs or system architecture designs to turn into reality, with my guidance.
Logician Weakness
“Ironically, Logicians shouldn’t always be held at their word. They rarely mean to be dishonest, but with their active minds, they sometimes overflow with ideas and theories that they haven’t thought through all the way.” This perfectly describes my commitment to projects and planning meetings. I plan to finish a task within a certain timeframe, but then get lost in thinking of other “optimizations” before completing a bare minimum product. As a result, I either greatly underestimate the story points or overestimate them. I do love a good debate about exploring new technologies though.
Warning: A sad story
“This doesn’t mean that Logicians are unfeeling. These personalities generally want to offer emotional support to their friends and loved ones, but they don’t necessarily know how. And because they can’t decide on the best, most efficient way to offer support, they may hold off on doing or saying anything at all.” Back in the summer of 2018, the first year where I did not travel for summer and I had graduated from my Community College. I stayed at home to take care of my grandparents. Then one day, I came home and saw my Grandpa choking on an egg. The caretaker had fed him a hard boiled egg and it was not going down. I called 911 and due to his position laying down on a special bed, we could not get him to rise to perform the heimlich. Around 10 - 15 minutes passed after the call and the police came, but it was too late. he died of suffociation on an egg. During the funeral I wasn’t able to come up with words to speak, but my father and I helped write his obituary in Chinese and English. I was still feeling sad but had nowhere to vent it out. Then during the Fall as part of Theater Arts Class (A GE requirement), they asked me to perform a song about my summer vacation. I wrote a song based on the experience and sung in the tune of “Because He Lives”.
For my summer vacation (God sent His son)
I stayed at home. (They called Him Jesus)
Didn't really do much (He came to love)
played some video games. (Heal and forgive)
But then one day, (He lived and died)
I walked down the stairs (To buy my pardon)
and I saw my grandpa choking on an egg. (An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives!)
I called 911 (Because He lives)
They said they were coming (I can face tomorrow)
but when they came (Because He lives)
they were too late. (All fear is gone)
So then he died (Because I know)
of suffocation (he holds the future)
And that ends the story of (And life is worth the living)
my summer vacation. (Just because He lives)
After that I felt much much better after bottling it up for almost four months with nowhere to express it. Especially in the performance where I smashed a hardboiled egg on the floor. It combined my feelings of grief and sorrow, with the wonders of where he is now; in Heaven and how I need to be able to move on and face tomorrow.
Takeaways
The logician’s problem solving method is through continuous improvement, so it makes sense that I see this as “errors” needed to be corrected. The most outstanding here is the -T or Turbulent section. Simply put it means I lack self confidence and it will appear when I speak with others until they move to something more than an acquaintances. Goals: I want to move from being Turbulent, which comes off as a lack of confidence. Something I need if I’m going to be able to expand my horizons.
Results
I’m glad I took the test. I usually tend to avoid these things because of how it makes me feel after, self reflection is common but I’ve never done anything like publicize what I think about. Hopefully this blog starts as a break to improve my mental health and wellbeing. I used to think of my detachedness or reservedness as a form of depression, but when I think deeply I feel glad not sad and certainly not depressed. I was simply burned out, especially from Remote Meetings/Video Calls, and should dedicate more time for creative outlets such as this website and read my devotionals.